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Why I’m not voting in the Canadian election

I will just interrupt the cheery flow of poetry and food to have another virtual temper tantrum. In case you ever doubted that even young countries can have hopeless bureaucracies, I want to share with you the sorry tale of my attempts to vote in next week’s Canadian election, which have resulted in my being disenfranchised. Just when you think it can never happen to you..!

The story begins September 30 when I thought I should check on the exact date of the election which I knew had been called just around the time my plane took off for England. I discovered that it was scheduled for October 14 and I would need to register by October 7 to vote from abroad.

I checked the Elections Canada and Canadian High Commission websites but found them confusing and ended up phoning Ottawa to find out what I needed to do, as I thought I should be able to cast my ballot from here, through an advance poll.

The first person I spoke to at Elections Canada assured me that I could do so; all I had to do was take my proof of address down to the high commission and as long as I knew the name of the person I wanted to vote for, I could do that up until October 6.

Off I went on my fool’s errand on October 1, only to be met by a stoic receptionist who handed me an Application for Registration and Special Ballot and said I’d have to fill it in to have a ballot mailed to me: there was no earthly way I could vote there. Home I went with my form to phone Elections Canada, and spoke to someone else who double checked and agreed it was so, I could not cast an advance vote, I’d have to apply for a mailed ballot using the form, but if I faxed it in to the number she gave me she’d keep an eye out for it and process it as swiftly as possible.

October 2 I set off on my fool’s errand, form in hand, and presented myself at the High Commission again. For those who haven’t been here, there are two buildings housing Canada’s overseas mission here, and they are separated by a twenty minute walk (if you know the way). The receptionist on duty that day assured me there was no way she could touch such a dangerous object as my form and only the Consular Office was qualified to apply it to a fax machine on my behalf.

Off I walked to Canada House on my fool’s errand, form in hand, and got myself up to the Consular Office well before their unholy closing time of 1.30pm. Having already shown my passport to get in there, I handed over the forms, the special fax number and my driver’s licence. The friendly soul shortly returned saying the fax number I’d given her wasn’t in service and should she fax it to the main Elections Canada number? Indeed, and she did, and she handed my forms back and home I went, thinking all was taken care of and I need only wait for my ballot to arrive by mail.

Jump forward to October 9. I had someone check my phone messages in Canada on October 2 and again yesterday. This morning I received an email from home saying there were two messages from Elections Canada – one impossible to understand, and the second saying my driver’s licence was too dark on the fax and it needed to be re-sent. As I had no idea when this message arrived, I went down to the High Commission on my fool’s errand and found the Consular office closed, and everyone I spoke to said you’re too late you’re too late the deadline was October 7. I managed to find someone who was willing to help me. She tsked when she saw the forms; I shouldn’t have been given them back after faxing, apparently. She duly faxed them through and put a call through for me to Elections Canada.

Then the fun really began. I was told that two phone messages had been left for me on October 2 and 4 and that I’d missed the deadline for sending my application in so there was nothing I could do. My position – that I’d sent my application in ahead of the deadline and re-sent my supporting document as soon as I knew they needed it – was worth nothing. And clearly the fact that a consular official had seen my passport as well as my driver’s licence did not qualify her to attest to my identity either: only a photocopied driver’s licence sent over a fax machine can prove to Elections Canada who I really am.

When I asked why they’d left messages in Canada when I was clearly in England, and had provided an email address, the answer I got was that “we only email when we can’t reach people by phone”. Which rather seemed to me to be the case. Why, she countered, had I entered my home number on the form? May I point out that this is exactly what the form asks for, the home and work numbers, with Canadian formatting for area codes – there is no space to provide a contact number in the “present mailing address” fields.

Things got really entertaining when she put her supervisor on. I asked him to explain why nobody had attempted to email me, and why this wasn’t considered standard practice when handling forms from people who were obviously abroad. He replied that the policy was to leave four phone messages before emailing. When I asked why I had only received two of my four messages and no email, he hung up on me.

Thanks Canada. Good luck in the election. May the other guy get in this time.

Permaculture and wholesale markets

It’s been a busy week in London, somewhat typically so as it included sun, wind, rain, security alerts on the tube, too much food and drink, too many nights out in a row, a couple of days grappling with bureaucracy (2 days and 3 visits to Canadian high commission offices trying to get registered for a mail-in ballot for the upcoming Canadian election, somehow eclipsed by some other election I think is happening on that side of the pond).

The rest of the time I’m delighted to be back at Sustain for a very brief spell, working on some articles for the relaunch of the in-house magazine the Jellied Eel, which will soon be magically appearing all over London in full and glorious colour.

Tuesday was the London Food Link networking do followed by a wildly over-subscribed talk by Cuban biologist and permaculture activist Roberto Perez. The talk, prefaced by a preview of the irresistably-titled film The Power of Community: How Cuba Survived Peak Oil, covered bio-fuels, agribusiness & the food crisis. Perez works for the Antonio Núñez Jiménez Foundation for Nature and Humanity in Havana; it’s described as a socio-cultural environmental organisation which fronts research, advocacy and educational activities in environmental, sustainability and biodiversity. During questions, Perez revealed his great interest in worms, which it turns out were the subjects of his thesis; and I think we’ll hear more and more about them as vermiculture is a growing trend for building soil, in conjunction with composting.

Wednesday morning I crawled out of bed as early as I could (but not as early as some) to get down to join the crowd

at the New Covent Garden wholesale market for a tour and day of talks and workshops, a Local to London trade event designed to bring together producers, wholesalers and end users in a bid to encourage food service sector to source more regional produce.

There were master classes by an amazing fishmonger from James Knight, who dazzled with the speed of his knifework. He prepared fish

while chef Patrick Williams, of The Terrace in the Fields, demonstrated Caribbean-influenced dishes like this mackerel tartare, seasoned with vodka, lime and salt.
Andrew Sharp, butcher and Cumbrian meat advocate, who also displayed dazzling speed and facility with many different blades while talking about hill lamb and the use and aging of mutton and discussing some of the difficulties of marketing lesser known cuts. He is the marketing face of a farmers’ cooperative and sells beef and lamb at Borough Market under the name Farmer Sharp.
There was also a talk by a herb grower, who addressed some of the difficulties around growing herbs seasonally and importing others to feed a year-round demand for herbs in a climate that is only able to grow what it can for about 8 months of the year. And a fruit wholesaler talked about issues to do with seasonality, size and quality in British apples.

One popular stand: Food Fore Thought supplied the organic bacon and sausage sandwiches for breakfast and the lamb ones for lunch.

A Saturday at the Aldeburgh Food Festival

A busy place, the Aldeburgh Food Festival. Only in its third year and utterly mobbed as the organisers sought to top the 15,000 visitors they had last year. I am blessed by friends who had sussed this little corner of foodie heaven out and took me along to see this year’s offerings.

There were some honey-sellers there and we stopped for a short chat. They asked me if the African Bee had been seen in my neighbourhood (nope, not so far, so far as I’ve heard) and told me they’d successfully experimented with the icing sugar method of varroa mite control. They also said that borage had been a great source of nectar up until this year, when the Suffolk growers lost the oil contract to China. So no borage planted, no flowers for the bees, and a great deal less honey. Another blow for monoculture…

We paid a happy visit to Emmett’s meaty stall, where the seller presided over acres of what I hear is gorgeous black (from the treacle cure) bacon, and was dishing out irresistible samples of imported chorizo. We weakened and he handed one over, apologising for having run out of bags, and suggested we walk around with it hanging from the string. I asked about storage – having had a stern lecture from a French sausage seller earlier in the month about the evils of refrigerating dry-cured sausage like this, and our man agrees there is nothing worse for the flavour and texture of the sausage. The best storage for chorizo is (pats stomach); otherwise, hang it from its string in a cool, dry place (my kingdom for a larder). If it gets mouldy, cut the mould off. Consume at a swift but leisurely pace as it will gradually dry out which impairs the flavour somewhat. And makes it hard to slice.

Another old friend: Suffolk Gold cheese (with Suffolk Blue in the background).

On to the celebrity chefs. We caught the end of Tom Aitken

and were sooner into the scrum for a taste of the lobster risotto than this group were. We also got in there while there were still spoons. Hah.

A little later we saw Mark Hix scoring a giant puffball from the man from the Red Poll Beef stand who we’d seen earlier harbouring several of them …

and he explained how you really have to know people to get hold of these monsters as they’re hard to find in the shops (though our local wundershop sometimes has them around this time of year).

Then he sliced a slab off and fried it up to sit under some game he was preparing, with creamed corn, under the watchful gaze and microphones of Tom Parker-Bowles and Matthew Fort.

We had a grisly presentation from Fergus Henderson, working on the pig tail end of his nose-to-tail weekend (he gave a workshop on cooking a pig’s head on the Sunday, which we missed, alas). We were not convinced after sampling the finished product – braised, cooled, coated and pan fried – which just tasted a bit like, well, pan fried fat. But now we can move on and eat something else.

We didn’t choose crepes, although we were able to queue for something else in sight of the beautiful van.

And we dined al fresco. With everyone else. A beautiful day for it…

…and for a walk out to see the Creek Men afterwards.

Finally, home to superbly cooked partridge. Mmmm.

Luck in London

Yesterday netted me two excellent meals in a row: a great welcome back to London. Lunch was at the Royal Court Theatre Cafe where we lucked into three delightful dishes, for me a fabulous warm salad of Jerusalem artichokes, mushrooms and baby spinach, with a Parmesan crisp to nibble on…

and reportedly delicious others: a pumpkin and goat’s cheese tart crusted with almonds; and a Lancashire hotpot in its own little basin:

We weakened when faced with the dessert menu, and luckily so: the Sticky Toffee Pudding was ethereal

while the almond and fig tart was exquisite, a study in texture and colour:

Later that same day, at Carvosso’s, I struck gold again with the duck leg confit, with roasted figs, green beans and mashed potato

while my companion fell upon her swordfish with glee and said it was absolutely perfect.

Fun in Paris

A lovely weekend in Paris. We travelled up by TGV, which was a swift and smooth ride, and as soon as humanly possible after disembarking we found ourselves a pleasant lunch. For me, some lamb chops

followed by some delightfully crunchy creme brulee.

Supper on Saturday night was prefixed by a trying stroll to the restaurant. Apparently there was a techno-parade heading our way and the streets of the Marais were thronged with Parisian youth seemingly attempting to out-drink and generally out-yob their British counterparts, and we had to pick our way carefully through what had become an open pissoir and vomitorium.

Putting all that thankfully behind us we settled in for a happy return to le Bistrot de L’Oulette where we embarked on a series of unusual delights. My starter was one of the best I’ve tasted: escargots with artichokes; tender and perfect:

followed by oxtail with foie gras wrapped in a cabbage leaf

and finishing with icecream – prunes with armagnac.

Sunday we visited the newly opened Musée de la Chasse et de la Nature, which was excellent, stylish and unusual, from the courtyard

to the ceiling;

and even the toilettes were suitably attired:

We hastened then to fortify ourselves with a splendid salad

and then joined many, many Parisians in the Luxembourg gardens

where we found ourselves in a queue to see the greenhouses, which are normally closed to the public (it was a holiday though, so they were open for two days only) and which have a stunning collection of orchids

They have one or two dahlias too…

and lots of fruit:

Even more interestingly, they have bees

in many hives. They were selling the honey the day we were there, but had sold out within an hour; I gather it’s an extremely popular annual event.

We stopped to refresh ourselves with an Italian-style gelato from Amorino:

Foot-weary we managed to limp to a supper engagement at Chez Janou which is seemingly always heaving with custom, and rightly so.

My starter was a many-splendoured salad incorporating avocado, crayfish and pink grapefruit…

After some concentrated walking and shopping on Monday morning, our last lunch was upon us before we knew it. We settled into a cafe near Place des Vosges.

Tarte tatin, a fitting finale:

And finally boarded the Eurostar for the trip back to London. We were lucky to have no trouble getting ourselves back, since one of the tunnels is still closed and there are delays and cancellations which will go on for a while yet.

Climate of the Poem workshop with Sean O’Brien, in France

Last week at Chateau Ventenac sped by. Having made note of the interesting (to travellers) fact that it takes about 2 hours door-to-door to reach Stansted from Turnham Green, I have little else of comfort or interest to report about that journey.

There was that traveller’s moment when I learned, at Victoria Station, that there was no underground service on the Victoria line the day I travelled, and so I had to make one of those Londoner rolling-gear changes, where you must always expect the unexpected whenever making a journey, and I got there in the end.

Can I just say what an appalling place Stansted is for anyone who cares about food, comfort, manners or convenience? And to mention that you can pay stupid amounts for just about anything there… speaking as one who forgot to pick up that essential item (for the borderline flu-sufferer, namely Twinings Ginger & Lemon tea) at my local groceteria and was forced to hand over the extortionate price of forgetfulness.

Seeking literary consolation, I visited the book concession and – in a vain quest to find any section called “Poetry” – stumbled upon a promising new tome by Felicity Lawrence (Eat Your Heart Out) to keep me company on my journey. I have already learned more than I wanted to know about the evils of cereal and some scary things about milk, meat and vegetables. Happy landings…

Here was our view from the chateau:

and another, of the many surrounding windmills at sunset:

Here’s a view of our first evening’s supper, first and last course: some grilled goat’s cheese on bread on salad:

and a bit of apricot tart with ice cream:

Each day’s lunch included a decorative platter of sliced beets garnished with creme fraiche, as well as a good selection of salads, sausages and and cheese.

Happy tutor packs his pencils at the end of the week: